Cursor blinks.
An old black keyboard.
Freestyle, smoothly playing.
Thy feverish self.
I started to engulf those
experiences I encountered for this year. As my mind blabs varied matters to
start with, I came up inculcating thy change 2014 brought me.
A
banker in the morning, and running my heart out at night, that was my lifestyle
for my first ever job. I worked five times a week, handling cash and new accounts.
Door opens, greeting clients, endless
sales talk and facing the reality that I have an 180deg-related job to my
diploma.
It was an enormous ride; phases
that helped me grow and be what I am now. Earning money with my own sweat is
not, like I though it would be. It was hard. I came to the point, that I almost
cried every night asking thy Lord, if I’m in good hands, or make an impetuous
decision to leave.
Early February, a short white paper
became the validity of my banking career. It was an impulsive and selfish act,
I know it for sure. I tried. I helped myself to embrace the job. But, I met the
finish line, not worrying what life will bring me after.
I was jobless for 3 months.
Yolo-ing at its finest; beach, hike, 12-hour sleep, going out with friends,
indulging myself to those things I missed out. But bipolar hits; I ended up
crying again, asking my physical self what I should be doing now. So I came
back from scratch, applied and went for interviews. I was about to accept a job
merely related to my course, but thy Lord gave me another opportunity.
Hemodialysis Nursing, a gem that
captured my heart, right now.
It was the Month of June, when I started my
4-month training. New perspective; new set of people to work with; new
knowledge to start with, its like going back to pre-school days. The days, when
your teacher have a hard time teaching you how to read and write. I’ve been
there. It was not easy; shifting careers. But I never gave up trying, maybe
because I am enjoying what I have now.
Being a
nurse is for a tough one. An 8-hour duty is not just merely monitoring patients,
doing charts, doing rounds; but it is a battle of self and passion. Yes, I have
those days; ranting on how tired I am with the career I chose. But, the
patients let me realize something that keeps me holding. It is a fulfilling job,
not to mention a jubilant feeling whenever a patient utters “thank you”. It’s like you’ve done
something good, that smile that will melt your heart.
Salary
wise, Nursing is not for the cold-hearted. As you continue to practice in the
Philippines, be prepared that your salary will not be as big as you may think,
it will not be on time, it can’t handle all your expenses, and the saddest
reality : You’ve work hard for it but you’re not paid accordingly. It saddens
me, that Filipino nurses suffer from this inequality. We worked hard, not
leaving patients, giving them the best care they should received.
As you glimpse to your pay check,
you’ll grow tired for sure. But the thing is, patients need someone like you.
Someone that will give their best for them to be well, someone that will hold their
hand when pain excruciate in their system, someone that will tell them “Don’t give up, keep on fighting”, and someone
that will be an angel to their side.
December 2014, my fifth month as a
nurse. I learned a lot. Sometimes, I cross roads, but I keep on coming back. I
stumbled during those months, but I tried. I try to become that “someone” , that I will proud of 2-3
years from now. Every time my alarm clock rings, I wished I could snooze it a
little more; but as I think about the patients waiting for me, those people who
are dependent to you; it became my daily
motivation to continue to be strong and be a tough one.
I will not be in this certain phase
for so long. All my hardships will pay out eventually. Thy Lord, will never
leave me in this battle. He will always be there for me.
For my future self, please wait for
me. I’ll get there, I promise. Please let me embrace more this practice, let me
be that “someone” that will bring smiles to my patients, along with my parents.
I will not give up, I will try. It will be tough, but no successful man without
failures.As today, I’m focused that I will be living my life as a nurse. I
maybe earning lower than my previous work, but I will not exchange this layer
of happiness, for a certain amount of money.
For the one reading this,
“Everyday is a learning process.
You will fail, you will achieve things, and then again fail. But always
remember that you’re blessed. You’re blessed with that unique personality that
no other person have. Always tell yourself, that no failures can ever let you
down. Impulsive decisions may come along the way, but never treat as a threat
for you not be, your future self awaits you.
Life
can be hard, life can be unfair, you will be broken, you will be engaged to
certain phases that may be reasons for you to leave. But what will be life without learning?
Experiencing those will make you grow. Let yourself be your own motivation.
Every single day is a new chance, so don’t ever waste it. Pray, it will be your
greatest power to overcome every problem you have.
You’re
one lucky person, you’re surrounded by people that will support you. Just be
yourself and never let failures be your enemy, let them be a teacher for you to
thank in the near future. :) ”
As I
end this, I would like to thank those people who never left me on my whirlwind
2014. Thank you, because without you guys I will not be an individual with
these hopes and dreams. I will not promise, but I will surely do my best to be
my BEST SELF. Never grow tired of me, it is part of ever battle. Every day, I
will never forget to thank the Lord, that He encircled me with people like you
guys.
Twenty –
fourteen, a year of change but a chance to be that “someone” that will be
coming soon. :)
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