I can still stand up, no matter what.

Fixing myself now, and trying my best to complete my broken puzzle again. 

That will be my self-goal now, as I struggled to be whole again. To be whole not only to be a better me, but also find the lost Patty, that once gave everything to the that man, that gave me the reason to be this strong. Fighting back for the one you love, will always be a big irony to me. Once you fight back, there's no turning back, you should be prepared for all those things that may happen. But I guessed, I believed before that no matter what happened, I will still be the princess for him, that girl that he will be fighting for. 


What crazy about love is, you keep on using your heart and never gave your brain to control you, and instead of hurting, tells you to "STOP, MOVE ON". I hope that it will be easy to move-on in just a simple click, but as I walked to my journey of being a dumb ass for this man, I still can feel those pains, why ever I did something to fight for my feelings for this undeserving man. Undeserving for all those efforts to made him feel that I am here, I will always be here for you, to love, care and support you. 

I kept on fighting for that feelings, that I reached the point I evened cried for him almost every night. Praying and crying at the same time. Hoping that he will choose me, and continue to the days when we just treat ourselves the best of friends, and effortlessly gave those acts that made you feel that you are blessed to have a certain someone like him. I still miss him, every day, I still want to hug him tightly and just talk to him endlessly. I want to make him feel again, that I will still be here for him, he still have the Patty that will still be his number one supporter and cheerer to make him feel good again, to be relieve to all those stress and problems he is facing. 

But my loving God, has new plans for me. Better plans for me to live by. He still providing and preparing myself for that man, that will never get tired of loving and understanding me, that man that will cherish me, and that man that will forever fight for me, not minding the people around, just to make me feel that he is there loving me unselfishly. God, will always be there for me. I know that, He has better plans, that I will understand someday. That I, soon  will be uttering these words, "HE IS RIGHT FROM THE START". I will continue to be praying for myself, to surpass all of these. To heal my broken self. To be a better person, that when that right man came to my life, he will have the whole me, that will forever love him, and see the real Patty that he deserves. 

I have huge plans for now, to move on. Those things I should be focusing to, not to burn up myself thinking for that man. He is not even worth it now, I don't deserve someone like him. I deserve someone else, like my friends always tell me. I am blessed to have these friends, that will never get tired of understanding me, and make me feel that I am not alone in this battle. I will never forget them, who were always been there, giving me advices to start to move on, and face the reality that I am awesome, I am wonderful, "you don't need that kind of man, he will be ending up regretting to let you go". Those words, that I should be living up, and not crying over and over again for a wrong situation in my life.

I can move on. I will. I just need to be strong, trust God, love myself more, and embrace all those lessons that this relationship gave me. I should be learning, facing the reality. Giving more love to others, and letting myself to shine and be beautiful inside and out. 

To that man, thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for letting me find myself again. Thank you for giving me those times I will forever cherish. I will still love you over and over again. I will continue to pray for you and hope for the best. I promise to be strong and love my self even more. Thank you for sharing your love to me, your sweetness and kindness. I will never forget those times, I promise. As now, I will get rid of that bitterness, and promise you when we met again? You will meet the better Patty and a sweet girl in each smile. Don't worry, I will be okay. I will. I hope you will be better now, to surpass those problems you have. All I can do now is to pray and hope you the best. Be a good boy now, make them see that you will stand up from all those failures. You will be a better man, I know you will. Continue to your faith to God baby. I love you so much. <3

To end this, I will be stronger and keeping this smile. Hoping for the best and continuing my adventure and someday I will meet that someone that will turn those tears into smile and happiness. :)